Happy Anniversary Metamour

08/15/2009

Confetti
Today is an awesome day!

Today is the one year anniversary between my metamour (h/t for the term to Miss Polyamory for the term.) and my partner.

It’s been one full year today since my partner met this man at her best friend’s wedding and fooled around. From these inauspicious beginnings came a deep and sudden feeling of mutual love and respect that has blossomed into a wonderful supportive relationship that has helped my partner immeasurably.

My metamour helped clear away cobwebs that had festered for years. He proved to her that she could function sexually with an actual sexual partner, he helped prevent her collapse with sheer NRE when I flew halfway around the world to get my master’s for two years in denmark. He helped her work through deep seated issues stemming from rapists and abusers in her past. He helped her work through deep-seated issues with her abusive and controlling alcoholic family.

In many ways, he has been a better partner than I have, though I hardly hold it against him. We both care deeply for my partner and we have both in our ways helped her become someone she can love at least half as much as we have loved her.

The amount she has grown with his help and the positive impact in her life can never be overstated and to that end, I encourage him to remain in her life for many years more with hers and my blessing. You are a good man, my metamour and I eagerly look forward to the day I have my partner’s permission to point you out by name.

Now stop worrying about “overstepping boundaries” with me and enjoy yourself with her. I have never once been jealous or suspicious and I would not interfere with the two of you for all the money in the world. The joy you have brought into the life of the one I love has been critical and overly welcome. You are truly family and you have earned trust and respect by the score.

Happy anniversary metamour, you’ve well earned it.

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3 Responses to “Happy Anniversary Metamour”

  1. Rae said

    I’m not sure if there’s a term as graceful as “metamour” that cover an additional degree of separation, partner of my partner’s partner, but whatever the semantics, I can’t thank you enough for the grace and warmth with which you’ve embraced him as your metamour. Like you, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing my partner grow and flourish in that relationship, and no small part of that has been thanks to you. Being connected to you, however tangentially, has been and continues to be a phenomenal lesson in compersion.

    Thank you, so much.

  2. M said

    It’s hard to know how to respond to such a generous outpouring of trust and love. Your words mean more to me than I can describe, as has your continued openness over the past year to someone you’ve never met in person and have talked to only briefly. Our partner and I have a wonderful relationship, it’s true, and that is partially due to her having such a giving partner as yourself.

    We are indeed family, bound not by blood but by deliberate choice, something far more valuable.

  3. K said

    Wow, feel like I’m coming a bit late to the party with this one. I’m blushing pretty brightly right now. Thanks. I do wish you’d stop saying that he’s been a better partner than you have because it’s not a bloody competition… but thanks. My relationship with M would not have happened if you hadn’t given me not just your permission, but your support. Hell, I wouldn’t even be poly if you hadn’t insisted it was perfectly moral and you were perfectly fine with it. You’re the best primary a girl could ask for. Love you.

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